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HairySpotter 8:56 Fri Oct 24
Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Ronalds post got me thinking about flying. Im a terrible flyer but have done it often all my life, usually with about 6 pints and two Valiums in me depending on the distance.
What bad flight stories have you got?
I have been lucky enough never to have a dodgy flight of any kind BUT.....
In 2000 we were flying out for Lennox Lewis vs Michael Grant at Madison Square Gardens. Bearing in mind it was 2000, there hadn't been a hijacking or plane bombing for years and this was before 9/11. I took my seat, which was in middle, my mate had the window seat and the rest of us were dotted all over the plane. This Muslim guy with the full beard and clothes comes and sits on the 3rd seat next to me.
He is clutching a brown brief case and has it on his lap with both his arms wrapped round it. The stewardess comes round and tells everyone to buckle up for take off. she told him that he must put his brief case up on the shelf above us. He refuses at first and when she goes to grab the brief case, he pulls its back and starts shouting in Arabic or whatever. Hew then stands up and puts in in the compartment. As soon as she walks on, he grabs it down again and holds it.
I looked at him, and gave a face as if to say "you aint supposed to do that mate" but to be honest, I couldn't give a fuck. Then I noticed he was sweating a lot. As we take off, he is sweating and started to chant under his breath and rock back and forth.
We get up to the point in sky when plane starts to level off and I turned to my mate and said "look at this bloke, whats going on you reckon" My mate just shrugged it off and said to me, its probably a bomb, laughed and looked out of window.
Well that fucking done it for me, I looked at the bloke again and he was sweating, eyes shut, rocking back and forth and muttering these words which I swear was a prayer.
I said to him nicely "excuse me whats in the bag" He ignored me. I said again "mate whats in the bag" nothing, carried on doing his thing. So then i grabbed his shoulder, by this time im freaking out. I grabbed him and said whats in the fucking bag?? probably a bit too loud as people all around our seats took notice. He jumped up, grabbing the bag and started shouting at me pointing and holding the bag aloft. The stewardess comes running down, everybody is shitting themselves and tries to calm it. Im fucking delirious now thinking we are going down then another Arabic traveller comes over, and talks to him, at which point we all think they are in this together..my mates come down from end of plane to see whats going on. There is loads of shouting then the bloke who came to speak starts to translate for us.
The bloke opened the briefcase to reveal
Turns out the guy holding the brief case, was a doctor, petrified of flying. He was praying for a safe journey and in the briefcase was photos of his family and all his doctors gear like a stethoscope etc
i was told to sit down and shut the fuck up by everyone, made for a most uncomfortable journey I have to say and I guess in later days, the plane may well have been turned back and I could have been taken off it.
Everyone took piss out of me, but I was just such a nervous flyer, always felt the worst would happen to me. It was from then on I took Valium and beer before flying and now im the best flyer, proper calm etc but that's cos im high.
I say everybody took piss, it wasn't till a year later and 9/11 happened that people started to see that what i feared wasn't so out of the realms of possibility....
over to you
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Replies - Newest Posts First ( Show In Chronological Order)
Ridikzappa
3:03 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Hairy is fine with the usage of 'airplane'.
Main Entry: airplane
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: vehicle that transports cargo or passengers through the air
Synonyms: aeroplane, airbus, aircraft, airliner, airship, cab, crate, jet, kite, plane, ramjet, ship*
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Mr Polite
1:05 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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There was this one time I was flying to Paris... Fucking thing landed in Paris
God forsaken place full of god forsaken people
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violator
12:45 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Had an aborted landing at kefaloni, about to touch down, pretty exciting as it goes
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Gavros
12:39 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Fatboy is right, it is aeroplane.
One thing I don't get is why it isn't an aeroport.
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Billy Blagg
12:12 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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I'm something of a reformed flyer: used to hate it and would be in a blind panic and only got through it with drink. I even tried hypnotherapy tapes (they didn't work) but I found I overcame it naturally when I had kids and had to be 'brave' for them. I can now (and have) flown on my own without too much panic and even get a kick out of it to some degree.
No real stories as I figure if you land then you've nothing to complain about but I was flying back from Turkey on the night WHU beat ManU 4-1 in the League Cup. Left in blazing sunshine but when we dropped through the clouds at Gatwick it was complete whiteout. We were coming into land and could see the hangars and everything thought the port windows when the engines suddenly soared and we took off again. Nothing was said for 10 minutes and I was crapping myself then the Captain came on and apologised saying just as we were about to touch-down they had closed the runway and we were being diverted.
We were re-directed to Stansted and (I found out later) were the last to land before they closed that too. On the plane people were crying and wailing because they had friends etc. at Gatwick and were forced to consider getting across London in a blizzard. We were laughing, we live in Colchester and hadn't been able to get a flight from there and had to go to Gatwick. We just rung a taxi driver mate who picked us up and told me about the Hammers win. It would have been a good end to story but for the fact my car was in a hotel in Gatwick and I couldn't pick it up for a week.
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FatboyChelseaScum
11:02 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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FFS mate, it was a joke, dont take it to heart
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HairySpotter
10:55 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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ok thanks fatboychelseascum, ill make a note of that.
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FatboyChelseaScum
10:54 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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HairySpotter 10:01 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
I haven't spell checked. I've language checked. You're writing in a foreign language.
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Ricky
10:34 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Circled a US airport for over an hour as something had fucked up - felt sick as pig
Touched the ground at Male airport in the Maldives then immediately the pilot started rising again, came on and apologised about 'miss-communication' with ATC!!
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HairySpotter
10:01 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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So you come on a forum to spell check people? Does it get any sadder??
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HairySpotter
10:00 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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So you come on a firuk
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FatboyChelseaScum
9:39 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
A-E-R-O-P-L-A-N-E
hth
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Ronald_antly
12:18 Sat Oct 25
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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This topic reminds me of this music video;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lg-D5tlEH4M
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ironsofcanada
7:50 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Nothing major but my flight back to England earlier this year had
1) A woman ahead of us three rows, throwing up for the entire 9 hour flight, with extra frequency at take off and landing.
2) A man, one row behind us and to the left, who was yelling very loudly that he was Sikh and somehow that meant he was able to have his own alcohol. It did not make a lot of sense to me either. Had a number of shouting matches with the cabin staff and was arrested when we landed.
Ovation through the plane when he was lead off. The crew was Quebecois but still did not deserve that.
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bruuuno
7:39 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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ag, great story hairy
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Gavros
7:31 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Halfway through a flight last year, everything seemed alright. Then the flight attendant comes aiming towards us down the aisle, face flushed, obviously nervous.
Turns out the cunts had run out of steak, and what's more, there wasnt any of my usual Chateaux de Tertre on board!
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Mr Strug
7:24 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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I was flying back from Crete last year and I think we were heading over Germany. Below us was the biggest fucking thunderstorm I've ever seen. The whole cabin was lighting up every 5 seconds and the plane was all over the place.
I remember someone telling me once that if the cabin crew look worried then you should probably start to worry, on this flight they looked like they were shitting themselves and strapped themselves in immediately.
Brilliant to watch the storm below out of the window though.
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Mr Kenzo
3:46 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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Eerie Descent 3:40 Fri Oct 24
You were trying to be Banjo?
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Big Dave
3:45 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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BIL-I-AM 3:20 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
Ha!
Along sort of similar lines the missus and I got back from a holiday in Spain last year and got fast-tracked past the queues at Heathrow as we had our 1 year old daughter with us.
While dealing with the passports etc someone behind us was cooing away at my daughter - I was holding her and she was looking over my shoulder.
Once I finished I turned around to see the biggest, meanest looking fucking lump of a bloke I've ever seen - complete with handcuffs and three very unamused police officers holding him.
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Gentile
3:42 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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LYALL OUT 3:24 Fri Oct 24
MAN UP SON
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Eggbert Nobacon
3:42 Fri Oct 24
Re: Worst Airplane Stories - bad flights etc
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had some huge turbulence flying from Cape Town to Durban
I think it was the goat vindaloo
The plane was dropping what felt like 10's of feet at a time
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